My Postpartum Story
If there is one thing that I have realized when it comes to motherhood, not only is it the greatest transition a woman will ever go through, but it is astonishing to me that there is not much talk about the nitty gritty postpartum stuff.
Postpartum is not often spoken about in terms of what to expect and how much actually happens during the three months after delivery aka the fourth trimester. A woman goes from seeing her birth team every month to every other week and then to weekly at the 36-week mark. She then goes through the marathon of giving birth to a tiny human and the traditional birth team at the hospital says, “See you in 6 weeks!!”………….”what?!?!”
After close to a decade of serving mamas in my clinic, I am absolutely certain that this is a time that they need MORE care, support, love and encouragement, not less. I have mamas all of the time that struggle even when it is their third kiddo and they “have done this before. “Every woman is different, their journey varies, their recovery and breastfeeding journey also are all so different; thus, let’s treat postpartum mamas as individuals and meet them exactly where they are at in that moment.
If you read my birth story with Luca, you know that the ending was quite turbulent. My pregnancy was smooth and the majority of my labor was normal; however, the delivery and the postpartum kicked the living crap out of me! I was not expecting this at all, which made matters worse!
I was on bed rest for 24-48 hours after delivery due to my significant loss of blood. When my midwife team came to my house for my 72-hour check-up visit, I asked for them to check my stitches because it didn’t feel right down there. Sure enough, I was having an allergic reaction to the diaper/pads that most women wear postpartum, my lady parts had swollen out of my body, and were pulling on my stitches and tender tissues. I switched to wearing 100% cotton mama’s cloth re-usable/washable pads which felt like heaven on earth.
The other obstacle that I encountered was breastfeeding. I think the triad of my significant blood loss, my massive need for healing, the breast reduction that I had in 2007, and the fact that Luca had a lip and tongue tie, made this quite the battle. My milk supply from the beginning was very low. I would cry my eyes out trying to feed, pump, supplement, repeat. I remember thinking it isn’t supposed to be this hard. I never in a million years thought I would struggle with breastfeeding because it’s just what you do, it just come naturally, right? I felt so guilty and even more defeated! I breastfed and pumped until about 3 months when my supply completely went away. While this was such a mental battle for me, it gave me an opportunity to experience the struggle that so many moms go through in this process. The majority of the moms I have cared for over the years have had some level of struggle with breastfeeding and/or supply issues. If you had it smooth sailing, that is awesome, and I am happy it went well for you, but please understand that is not the case for all.
The final hill that I climbed in my postpartum journey and will continue to climb for the rest of my life became apparent to me about 2.5 months postpartum. Something had not healed correctly from my 3rd degree tear as well as I was experiencing symptoms of internal damage to my rectal sphincter. I scheduled an appointment with an OB to be evaluated. He said that it appears I had torn smooth muscle in my rectal sphincter, but would need to see a urogenital surgeon and colorectal surgeon to assess the extent of the damage. Two weeks later the world shut down with COVID-19 and I was unable to get in to see a doctor for close to 6 months causing irreversible damage. I have since sought out care with a practitioner and have seen great results, but still struggle and will continue to for the rest of my life due to the extent of the damage. This is why my second son will be born via c-section, as I am unable to have a vaginal birth going forward.
I share this to remind you that all women experience a different walk in life. I believe that my pain can be turned to purpose. I know that God has a strong calling on my life to make a positive impact! If you are someone that struggled with postpartum healing, you are not alone! I am here walking alongside you!
Bless you and thank you for reading my story! -Dr. Amy